Rewind, Replay
by Travithian Axile
Summary: P4: Hell is repetition. Souji, New Game Plus, and the toll it takes. One-shot.


**Title:** Rewind, Replay  
**Characters:** MC  
**Rating:** G  
**Word Count:** 719  
**Summary:** Hell is repetition. Souji, New Game Plus, and the toll it takes. One-shot.  
**Notes:**Came from a prompt on the kinkmeme: 'Souji, after who knows how many New Game +, at last falls into the TV world, and creates his own mindscape the IT must go through to confront him, and his inner thoughts.' Edited.

* * *

Alone in the carriage, Souji sat and stared out the window. Outside, the wind tugged at the trees and sent the leaves flying; yet the air on his face was cool and dead. Of course-this was nothing more than an illusion, a construction of his mind. All lofty gables and grandiose arches, and yet, in the end, nothing more than an idea. Incomplete.

A sign flashed past. Souji did not bother to read it. He knew what it said. He knew what it _always_ said. Of more immediate concern-

He was no longer alone. Or, if you looked at it another way, his only constant companion had always been himself.

"I was waiting for you," he said quietly.

His Shadow smirked at him from the other row of seats, arms spread and legs up, as confidently as though it owned the place. In a sense perhaps it did.

"Yeah, for someone to talk to," the Shadow said. "Can't stand the silence, right? Couldn't stand the _noise_ either. All of them, crying and begging and clinging. Like we haven't solved their problems for them a hundred times before. A thousand times. Forever and ever." It smiled; a cruel, triumphant smile. "Well, problem solved! We got them all to sod off, didn't we?"

"No, I-" Souji clenched his fists and forced himself to stay calm. _A Shadow always speaks truth. Even when it lies_. "I know. I was wrong." The admission came harder than he had expected; when was the last time he had to say _sorry?_ A perk from always knowing the right words to choose. "I suppose...I was just tired of the same old cycle..."

"Well, things certainly turned out differently this time," the Shadow said. "I was surprised, you know. Didn't think you actually had the guts to stir things up like that-so much for 'unbreakable bonds', huh?"

"I shouldn't have taken it out on them," Souji said, curling his hands tightly around his knees. "They don't know anything."

"Yeah, yeah, innocent little lambs, the lot of them." The Shadow examined its fingers, bored. "Except..." A sudden, nasty look, passing over the placid features like a storm. "I_am_ you. I know your thoughts. You haven't forgotten...have you?"

"It's _not_ my fault," Souji insisted, fighting against the freshet of words boiling in his throat. Horrible as the Shadow was, it was...almost a sort of catharsis to be allowed to speak freely, to not be afraid of betraying a future knowledge or a forbidden secret. "Everyone has thoughts like those. As long as you don't act on them..."

The Shadow leaned forward, hunger in its yellow eyes. Looking right at him. "_How do you know?_"

"...What?"

"Everyone thinks like that?" The Shadow shook its head in mock disapproval. "Your friends, your dear friends...how would they react if they knew _those _thoughts?" It smiled, looking out at the sun that was always fixed low in the orange sky. "Would they forgive you, knowing too well the Shadow that lurks deep in human hearts? Or would they...but that question has already been answered, hasn't it?"

Souji said nothing.

"Why did you come here?" the Shadow demanded, rising. It looked, suddenly, bigger and less human than it had a moment ago. "You know death awaits you here. Why did you come?" It loomed over him, grinning, waiting for the answer, the denial it so desperately craved.

Souji shrank back, suddenly acutely conscious of the danger he was in. The air in his lungs burned with cold. "I wanted to know _why_," he gasped, choking out the words. "It, it doesn't matter if I die-I thought-I might know the answer somewhere deep inside. Why I keep returning to Inaba, why things never change..."

His voice failed, lost in a violent shiver that ran down the length of his spine.

The Shadow's smile had jagged teeth in it now. "That's why," it agreed, and Souji almost sagged with relief. "But that's not all..."

It reached out, grabbing Souji's neck, pricking at his skin with the tips of its claws. "You and your precious friends always came in the nick of time, didn't you?" it breathed softly into his ear. "Just in time to save a life..." It angled his head towards the carriage door, its grip tightening imperceptibly-Souji choked, pulling ineffectually at the unyielding arm. Black spots danced in front of his eyes.

"You wanted to know why you keep coming back?" the Shadow asked, its voice thin and far away. "Well, the answer's right there in front of your eyes. Go ahead, take a _looong _look. You've got _plenty _of time to think about it."

Through blurring eyes Souji stared at the door as the Shadow laughed and laughed. _They won't come. Not after what happened._

He waited for the door to open.

He waited for an eternity.

-end-


End file.
